Friday, September 12, 2008

My Pet Roach

So, if I've ever wondered if I would have a different scream for a mouse and a giant roach, and I mean GIANT (I swear it had wings), the answer is no, they are very much the same scream.  This roach was so big and grossed me out so much, that I couldn't even look at it.  It went down something like this: Last night I'm sitting on the toilet with the door open (sorry, TMI), spot GIANT roach (3 inches?  Is that possible?  2.5?) just outside the bathroom, scream, call Willie's name, and shut the bathroom door.  That's right, I hide from the roach.  That way, the roach can't get me.  See no roach, no roach exist.  Well, surprise, surprise, when Willie comes back to look for it, it's gone.  I don't know how something that large moves that fast, but I was SO jumpy and freaked out that all I could do was go to bed. The brand new off-the-ground bed I just got seemed to be much safer than my old on-the-ground futon, so that was some comfort.   However, I couldn't go pee (what's with the TMI?) last night because I was so afraid of running into my new friend.  As I lay in bed thinking about how in the hell I'm going to deal with all of these new pets, I wondered if, like my migraines, naming them might help.  Ted, the roach?  Would that make it less scary?  But, that's the thing -- in the moment, there is no Ted.  There is only the scariest biggest grossest thing I've seen since the last scariest biggest grossest thing I've seen.

Everything is sunnier in the morning.  Today there was no sign of Ted, and I carelessly unpacked as if there wasn't a roach in the world.

2 comments:

antee said...

eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww! why are bugs so much scarier at night? maybe scout will morph into an insect killer.

Claire Just Claire Like Cher said...

I think I was a very little kid on a family vacation in Kentucky or Tennessee at my BELOVED old-fashioned Holiday Inn (they used to have the coolest signs with all the colored light bulbs!). Anyway, in true TMI and WT fashion, I too was in the bathroom and saw a GIANT roach. Yep. Huge, huger than the hundreds of scurrying roaches there used to be in LA places during college - didn't like those either. But the bugs of the southeast are something special. Good times, good times. Let's hope Ted is now at a Holiday Inn and far away from the Naomi homestead. PS The Word Verifications Google makes you type before posting comments are HILARIOUSLY unword-like. This one is "uorzfaf". I get it, I know, so a dictionary hacker thing can't crack it, but it still cracks me up. Much love from Londontown...